Ramblings by Joe.....

Thoughts on deployment.

I read Valorie’s blog post and it made me think about how these deployments affect my family and I. I would say that we are very resilient but there are many unseen effects. I consider myself pretty lucky with my job and duties in the military. I am a platoon sergeant and am a co-leader of a platoon of soldiers. I work with a platoon leader in supervising the group of soldiers. I am the enlisted side and the platoon leader is the officer side of the leadership of our platoon. We see to the overall health, welfare and duties of each of the soldiers in our platoon. We also are responsible for the maintenance and upkeep of our equipment. In our case, it is toolboxes and 8 helicopters and all associated equipment. These are my military duties in a nutshell and I find that many of the aspects of my work are mirrored in my duties and responsibilities as a husband and father. I think it all boils down to leadership. The basics of leadership apply weather it is a group of soldiers, a group of Boy Scouts, or your own children. I have noticed some challenges along the way.

 I am a friendly person and like to consider my associates and subordinates as friends as well as coworkers. I have realized that this point of view is good for morale and for the overall work environment but it also brings unique challenges when it comes to enforcing standards and discipline.

Valorie is a super strong and independent woman. She is a great mother to our kids and does lots for our family. She also gives time and effort to our ward through her calling as a counselor in the Relief Society. She also spends time assisting the spouses of the fellow soldiers in the company through her efforts as a Family Readiness Group co-leader. She handles so much and cares for so many people that it is truly amazing. I feel bad when
I have to leave on these deployments because in many ways, my work load is lightened and hers is increased. I try to make the effort to call or interact with her daily so that she can vent or just keep me abreast of the happenings in the lives of my family.

I am pretty much done with this deployment and am just waiting for transportation to get me back home. There are not many responsibilities that I have at the moment. We are done with work, so to say, since we have transferred all the equipment that is staying in country to the incoming unit and have sent all the other equipment back home already. We pass each day in a large tent that has about 120 beds in it. I watch movies and  DVDs on my computer and play computer games. Many of you may think that this sounds blissful, but it is quite challenging. I would rather be busy taking kids to soccer games or practice and running around town shopping or seeing to the various needs of the family. Those same chores that wear Valorie and others like her out day-to-day are just what I look forward to. I can hardly wait to get home and help lighten the load that she shoulders when I am gone.

I miss my sweet children terribly. They change so much in the early years and I am missing so much of it. Valorie mentioned Brady and that I have been away for more of his little life than I have been home. I hope that this trend will change and that all soldiers will be able to spend more time with their families and not deploy as much. I look forward to interacting more with my children when I get home and to get more fully incorporated into their lives. I know that Valorie usually runs the house on a good schedule. I hope to help her out and give strength and backup her efforts at home. Our kids thrive on a schedule (though it is sometimes resisted). I hope to augment the fun and love that is found in our household. It is the Lord’s plan to have children raised by both parents and for the responsibilities to be shared. Being away has helped me to identify many ways I can help to share the load and I am so eager to do it.

Our kids are great. They are so fun and loving, each with their own special quirks and strengths. I am eager to connect with them more and to enjoy their love more in my life. Cooper and I have a few common interests that we share. We both love computer games and guns. I am eager to take him shooting again and to teach Valorie and the other kids how to shoot and how to safely employ firearms. Some of the kids are too young and will have to wait for that lesson. Cooper is so very smart and kind. He is quite shy but once he opens up to others, he becomes a great friend. Hailey is growing up so fast. She is almost a polar opposite of Cooper’s shyness. Hailey is outgoing and has a very large circle of friends. Sadie is quite the little leader. She will often naturally assume the informal group leader position with most groups she is in. She shows intense emotion that is almost out of her control sometimes. There is not much middle ground with Sadie, it is usually way high or very low. She shows love, happiness, excitement and such so intensely but then sometimes it is sadness and withdraw almost to an extreme. Ella is funny. I call her Crazy Ella and she likes the nickname. She is terminally happy when she is around me and it spreads and lightens my spirit and mood as well. Brady is funny as well. I am eager to interact more with him and to learn more of his sweet little personality. He is quite the “mini-me”. He, like Cooper, mimics many of the things I do around the house and yard. I changed the oil on my truck before this deployment and soon, Valorie sent me a picture of Brady lying on the ground under his tricycle as if he is working under it. He is quite the monkey see, monkey do kind of kid. I am so eager to get back with them.

 Valorie is always on my mind. Like I said, she is so strong and independent, truly an amazing person. I am so very blessed to have her as my wife and best friend. I miss spending time with her and I feel so bad that I have to leave her for such long periods of time with these deployments. I appreciate all the support and help that everyone gives to my family and I. When I was dating Valorie, I remember early on that I was so very impressed with her. Over the years and deployments, I have continued to be more and more awed by the incredible person she is. I am so very blessed.

I also miss my extended family while I am away. I appreciate the prayers and love that are sent my way by my wonderful parents and brothers and sisters and their families. The packages, pictures and letters are very thoughtful and I love receiving them. I am grateful for technologies like email and webcam so that I am more able to keep in touch with friends and family.

Comments

[Lisa Brown]

I had just stopped crying, and now I am at it again. I love your family and am so grateful to call you friends!

[Valorie]

Thanks Lisa! Right back at ya!

[Mary C]

You are so great Joe! We are excited for you to get home so you and your family can be together again!

[Heather Y Vincent]

Wow...this brought tears to my eyes. Probably wasn't intended to do that. It gives me a whole new insight on what my sister-in-law is going through with my little brother deployed aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN 72). Thank you for sharing this.

[dawn]

ok now i am a sobbing mess. good thing it is time for bed. love ya